It is fascinating how my mind works, or wanders rather. It is in constant motion, flowing from thought to thought. Triggered by impulses, driven by imagination but bound by memory – all at the same time. At some point, this motion becomes an impression – of what things mean, should be or shouldn’t be. Observe it for five minutes and I can’t avoid a smirk turning into an impish grin. Gosh! I act based on these impressions – of what success is; what happiness is; what righteousness is. Every single moment.
All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last
It continues incessantly, from the first moment of awakening in the morning until the blurry boundary of half conscious dreams, before sleep engulfs. How much of this time am I really aware of the mind. The tricks i’m playing on myself – that I am happy or loved or otherwise. It is the mind which lives. Its like my mind and me are two different things.
But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?
Yes I can train the mind and use it to achieve something by ‘thinking’. Do the same things constantly and the mind forms a habit – so it doesn’t need to ‘think’ but I can act. While it practices some more tricks. Only when I’m fully absorbed in ‘thinking’ about something that the mind stops wandering. But then, it just needs another excuse or an external impulse (trigger) to get back to what its natural state is – to wander. These days, the triggers are one too many.
Why is its natural state to wander? How do I stop the noise in my head?